7:39 a.m. on January 1, 2015
It is very quiet
out in the world and in the house. Were it not for my cat Duncan eating his dry
cat food and the furnace kicking on and off, it would be virtually silent. But
in my head, things are never quiet. I woke up and looked out the bedroom window
and fully appreciated the fact that the etch-a-sketch of life had been shaken.
New day, New Year--perfect.
A stiff walk down
our stairs and the realization of bones getting older, the inevitable. Duncan
greeting me at the foot of the stairs served to say "there are constants
in life." The sun slowing rising through the corner of the kitchen window
hiding behind our oak tree reinforces that idea.
I used to finish
off years by staying up well past midnight writing down resolutions, sealing
them in #10 envelopes, and putting them in a drawer to be opened the next New
Year. It was a test of resolve, I suppose. I figured that if I opened the
envelope and I had accomplished my resolutions, they had been worth doing. If
not, I chalked it up to a flight of fancy. More often than not, though, I was
depressed by the results.
So I do not make
resolutions anymore. In fact, I am loathe to making goals of any kind. It seems
to me that making resolutions or goals is pretty egotistical, presuming that
you know what is the most important thing for you to do with your time without
knowing what may be coming up the pike. But, if not that, then what? If you
aren't making plans for your life, who then? I didn't say I have it all figured
out.
In my defense, I
still do make short-term plans and to-do lists and have a schedule. I'm
not completely daft. But I also don't mind having a free-flowing day where what
happens is what happened. I find it wonderful to be surprised by where the day
takes me. Whether it is helping a random person, reading an article, or making
something out the ingredients in our refrigerator, I am happy for the discovery
of it.
In fact, when I
look back at last evening, while my wife Betsy and I were celebrating the
countdown to the New Year, I was at peace that we had no formal plans. We
enjoyed a couple of movies and a TV series we bumped into on Hulu and Netflix.
We ate delicious food that we went to the grocery store earlier in
the day to pick out. Duncan, Betsy, and I spread out on the couch and
bathed in the warmth of a roaring fire that I cobbled together with what we had
in the house. We listened to random selections of Crosby, Stills, and
Nash, and other similar artists that Pandora mixed for us and turned in
slightly after midnight. It was an altogether lovely night.
I realize that I
am fortunate and have a lot more free time than most. I admire people who are
productive and full of plans for their lives. But I wouldn't trade my
approach to life for it. The only resolution that I have ever stuck with, and
it tickles me to say it, is I resolved not to make resolutions and am so
much happier for it. I am looking forward to how the next year goes. I have no
idea what it may bring, but I am happy to see it unfold.
No comments:
Post a Comment