Just Gratitude

 This blog has been a sanctuary spot for me to share and capture thoughts meant for more and a handful of others for whom I care deeply. Today, it is about gratitude for them. As a person who deals with mild depression, I rely on the kindnesses of others on the days when I am seeing things through an inky veil. 

My wife, Betsy for better and for worse receives the brunt of the darkness I carry around and feels the sting of my sarcasm and unkind words. To her credit, she does not let me get away with it. She tells me exactly how those words affect her. She is my safe haven, the place I turn to when I have to face the world with a slightly less dark version of myself. I am eternally grateful to her for reminding me how lucky I am to have a person who both understands me, but also pushes me to be a better version of myself when I'm not. Our marriage is a testimony to love conquering all--or at least most.

I am grateful for my father, as perplexing as he is to me, he is my dad and I love him very much. I spoke to him yesterday and he was reflecting on how grateful he was that I helped him get out from under a home that was making his life harder than it should be. He said he wanted to pay me back. I told him there was no need, he has done plenty for me just in making sure we had food to eat and a house to live in. He is not a perfect person, but his views and humor have shaped my own. So, I will be forever grateful that he is my dad!

I will always be grateful for my longtime friends. Each of them bring me something different and valuable. Bill Rosenfeld is my oldest friend and a lifeline to a much more simple time when ping pong and sledding and suffering bullies were our biggest concerns. Tom Foster, while not my closest friend, is also a link to the past and he, Bill, and I were like brothers back in the day. Bill Johnson is my college and beyond buddy whose musicality delights and amazes me. He has had his struggles, to be sure, but as a friend, he has never let me down. It is funny how friendships in adulthood have a different arc, but of my "adult" friends, Charlie Mansfield is the one I likely think about the most because we have had some of my best times together. Charlie gently pushed me to do things that were more strenuous than I'm normally willing to do. He also showed me that even with flaws, some friends are very much worth keeping. John Elson is my librarian friend and we share a love of music and quiet. Mark Yuskis is like an older brother and his care for Betsy is a wonderful thing.