I recently figured out that I will be 60 years old very soon. It is not that I'm bad at math or anything like that, but I just don't like to think of myself in terms of years. So, when my wife asked me what I wanted to do for my birthday, my first reaction was not wanting to do anything for it. That was not the correct response, in my wife's worldview.
So, I deflected the question for as long as I was able and began to give it the kind of serious thought that you do when it matters to other people. I realized that it is rather a significant birthday--I mean seven years to some degree of retirement, discounts already starting to roll in---but it is significant for other reasons at this point, too. According to actuarial tables, the average guy in the U.S. will live to be about 76. This means that I will have lived about 78.9% of my life on my birthday. This means I have less that 1/4 of my life left--assuming I'm neither below nor above average.
In terms of getting stuff done, I have got to get cracking on the proverbial bucket list. The point is, I have never been terribly motivated by time to do that and a part of me wonders if I ever will be. I have aspirations to conduct an all triangle orchestra. Will I do it? I have a bunch of songs that I want to record (not with triangles, though). Again, will I do it. I have a children's book manuscript that I am trying to find a illustrator for, but again...will I get it done.
I am not particularly legacy driven, if I were, I suppose we would have had children. On the other hand, I have enough ego that wants to have something left behind just to know that I mattered to someone else besides Betsy and I and my immediate family and close friends. But, no real guarantee of that, now is there?
That's why I have these stealth projects. I want people to be surprised at how prolific I really am--because that is not the side I choose to show others. To them, I rather like showing my humanity and care for them--as much as any introverted person can. To most I know, I am funny, caring, an ear that listens well--but also withdrawn and in my own head. Hard to know, easy to be around.
But in this last 20+ percent or so of "scheduled" life, I don't have all the answers to what this life will mean to me or to anybody else. Come to think of it, I will never know what it means to others, that's up to them and you. What I know I will try to do is to be a better person than I am through my words and deeds. I know I will fail at times and will try some more. I will also try to enjoy this time as much as I am able. I can't change the world's politics and I think I may be happier if I just focus on people.
I noticed that Jimmy Carter is a pretty happy guy and seems to do it by engaging in the world in a hand's on way and by reflection in his books. I'm no Jimmy Carter, but I like how he is given to service. If I can be of service and have fun doing it, I could get behind that.
I find in my work, I generally have that going for me. I want people to have good lives and I'd like to think that choosing good work is a way of promoting that. Being a career coach is a pretty good gig, but I won't be doing it forever. In fact, the closer I get to not wanting to work, the less I think I should be doing what I do.
Back to the birthday celebration. I decided I want to have people who have been important to me for one or more reasons be at my party. Betsy has rented out a restaurant and 30 or 40 people that I have chosen will be there. I hope to take a moment with each to say why I want and need them in my life. I have been made better by knowing each of them.
So, I deflected the question for as long as I was able and began to give it the kind of serious thought that you do when it matters to other people. I realized that it is rather a significant birthday--I mean seven years to some degree of retirement, discounts already starting to roll in---but it is significant for other reasons at this point, too. According to actuarial tables, the average guy in the U.S. will live to be about 76. This means that I will have lived about 78.9% of my life on my birthday. This means I have less that 1/4 of my life left--assuming I'm neither below nor above average.
In terms of getting stuff done, I have got to get cracking on the proverbial bucket list. The point is, I have never been terribly motivated by time to do that and a part of me wonders if I ever will be. I have aspirations to conduct an all triangle orchestra. Will I do it? I have a bunch of songs that I want to record (not with triangles, though). Again, will I do it. I have a children's book manuscript that I am trying to find a illustrator for, but again...will I get it done.
I am not particularly legacy driven, if I were, I suppose we would have had children. On the other hand, I have enough ego that wants to have something left behind just to know that I mattered to someone else besides Betsy and I and my immediate family and close friends. But, no real guarantee of that, now is there?
That's why I have these stealth projects. I want people to be surprised at how prolific I really am--because that is not the side I choose to show others. To them, I rather like showing my humanity and care for them--as much as any introverted person can. To most I know, I am funny, caring, an ear that listens well--but also withdrawn and in my own head. Hard to know, easy to be around.
But in this last 20+ percent or so of "scheduled" life, I don't have all the answers to what this life will mean to me or to anybody else. Come to think of it, I will never know what it means to others, that's up to them and you. What I know I will try to do is to be a better person than I am through my words and deeds. I know I will fail at times and will try some more. I will also try to enjoy this time as much as I am able. I can't change the world's politics and I think I may be happier if I just focus on people.
I noticed that Jimmy Carter is a pretty happy guy and seems to do it by engaging in the world in a hand's on way and by reflection in his books. I'm no Jimmy Carter, but I like how he is given to service. If I can be of service and have fun doing it, I could get behind that.
I find in my work, I generally have that going for me. I want people to have good lives and I'd like to think that choosing good work is a way of promoting that. Being a career coach is a pretty good gig, but I won't be doing it forever. In fact, the closer I get to not wanting to work, the less I think I should be doing what I do.
Back to the birthday celebration. I decided I want to have people who have been important to me for one or more reasons be at my party. Betsy has rented out a restaurant and 30 or 40 people that I have chosen will be there. I hope to take a moment with each to say why I want and need them in my life. I have been made better by knowing each of them.
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