Writing Wrongs

I have been right and I have been wrong, but in writing about wrongs, I have been remiss. Admitting my failings is not a thing I like to do publicly, let alone in writing. But here is a relatively short list of things I have been dead wrong about.

1) In 1980, I voted for the first time for John Anderson. I'm admitting that it didn't help.
2) In 1981, I went out with a girl who I thought was the one. She was not.
3) In 1982, I thought I would conquer the advertising world. To date I have not.
4) In 1983, I thought I would make a pretty good stand up comic. That ship did not come in.
5) In 1984, I thought my girlfriend was ready to marry me. She was not.
6) In 1985, I thought the company I was working for was going places. In 1991, I learned it was--into the toilet.
7) In 1986, I thought the Greenleaf Hotel was suitable for our wedding night. It was not.
8) In 1987, I thought having my own store near the beach would be fun. It wasn't.
9) In 1988, I thought being store of the year was an honor. The next year winner was a pretzel place.
10) In 1989, I thought it would be fun to see San Francisco. Missed a hurricane, got an earthquake.
11) In 1990, I thought I had my life figured out. Did I mention 1991...
12) In 1991, I thought my life was over. I was very wrong.
13) In 1992, I thought I wanted to be a English teacher. Nope.
14) In 1993, I thought I never could be a counselor. Fortunately I was wrong.
15) In 1994, I thought the internet was a waste of time. It is, but not in the way I meant it.
16) In 1995, I thought defrosting a friend's refrigerator using a sharp knife was a good idea. You know how that worked out.
17) In 1996, I thought 10 years is a long time to be married. 22 years later, I didn't know the 1/3 of it.
18) In 1997, I thought being a poet would make me happy. Ever see a happy poet?
19) In 1998, I thought being the boss (again) would be great! I learned I liked being second fiddle.
20) In 1999, I thought living in Iowa was worth the risk. I still miss the ocean.
21) In 2000, I thought all the computers would crash. They didn't.
22) In 2001, I thought Congress wouldn't let the PATRIOT ACT be passed without studying it. I learned otherwise.
23) In 2002, I thought it would be dumb invading Iraq. I was a year off.
24) In 2003, I thought we'd not hang around in Iraq. You know what happened.
25) In 2004, I thought we'd elect a war hero. Turns out we got 4 more years of Bush.
26) In 2005, I thought running for city government was my calling. Voters had other ideas.
27) In 2006, I thought 20 years of marriage was crazy. See 2016.
28) In 2007, I thought, well I don't hate my job. A year later that would be the least of my worries.
29) In 2008, I thought I missed living by the water. The flood that year convinced me otherwise.
30) In 2009, I'll never get ahead. Turns out, compared to many I've always been ahead.
31) In 2010, I thought Guantanamo would be closed down. Nope.
32) In 2011, I thought Iowa was insulated from "big city" problems. Nope again.
33) In 2012, I thought McCain might just win with that maverick he put on the ticket. Dodged a bullet.
34) In 2013, I thought maybe we'll figure out how to be decent to each other. Not so far.
35) In 2014, I thought, hmm people seem to be getting "it". Apparently seething was a thing.
36) In 2015, I thought and felt the Bern! Apparently it was heartburn.
37) in 2016, I thought, no way this guy is going to win. I wasn't alone.
38) In 2017, I thought, what can he possibly do in 4 years? So far the answer is "too much."
39) In 2018, I think we are so screwed.